Leftovers anyone?

I must admit, I was a little hesitant to post this entry, and id really love your feedback to let me know what you think! :)

How would you feel if you were invited over to someone's house for a special meal, you had prepared yourself adequately for the evening out, and when you arrived you were served last Sundays half eaten pot roast? Would you feel disappointed? Under valued that your company didn't quite deserve a fresh, home cooked meal that took love and time to prepare?

Do you think maybe this is how your future marital partner would feel if you had given away little pieces of your heart to various different people in your life? I think we can get so wrapped up in not wanting to give away parts of our physical bodies prematurely, that we forget about saving ourselves emotionally. Protecting ourselves from emotional purity is just as important as protecting ourselves from physical purity.

Everyone seems to understand physical intimacy, and where the boundaries should be, but I think its hard to define where the line should be drawn at emotional intimacy. We are told over and over again in the Bible that our bodies are the Lords temple (1 Corinthians 3:16) and that we are not to defile them with fornication (Romans 13:13). Gods plan was for us to be pure in body (Hebrews 13:4), but shouldn't we also consider to be emotionally pure before marriage?

The dictionary defines 'emotions' as "agitation of the passions of sensibilities, strong complex feelings", and it defines 'intimate' as "marked by a close acquaintance or familiarity, very personal or private, a close friend or confidant." From this I have gathered that emotional intimacy would be a close, private relationship that would invoke strong feelings, passions, and the senses.

The other thing I have been thinking about is that emotional intimacy will bring about physical intimacy. Emotional intimacy is the kind of closeness and familiarity that stirs feelings and senses that create a bond, a union that God reserves for a marriage relationship. "Let marriage be held in honor among all" (Hebrews 13:4). Once we make a solid commitment to someone and marriage vows are spoken, we are then free to explore all areas of intimacy: physical, emotional and spiritual.

I think this kind of intimacy is also mirrored in our relationship with God. When we get baptised we enter into a 'marriage covenant' with God, we then experience the freedom of emotional intimacy that comes with committing our lives to Christ. It is impossible to have that connection before the commitment. Only after we commit to Christ can we enter with confidence into and enjoy the benefits of a committed relationship with God. Our path should be commitment and THEN intimacy.

You cant righteously satisfy another person until you make a commitment.

God clearly tells us not to defraud one another. 1 Thessalonians 4:3-6 - "For this is the will of God, your sanctification, that is, that you abstain from sexual immorality, and each of you know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor, not in lustful passion, like the Gentiles who do not know God, and that no man transgress and defraud his brother in the matter because the Lord is the avenger in all these things, just as we also told you before and solemnly warned you." I think we have become desensitised to the emotional purity of our friends & partners. We defraud each other without even realising what we are doing. The word 'defraud' means "taking something that is not yours". You can so easily take something from someone that does not belong to you.

I think if you are going to take the "free-for-all" method, you should remember that you may be playing with the heart of someone elses future spouse. I have been known to share too much information to others about my feelings and life, but what i didn't realise was that i was building emotional ties that do not belong to those people.

I thought about ways to avoid premature emotional intimacy in relationships & friendships. I thought these would be some good questions to ask yourself:
1. Would I be treating him this way if his wife were here?
2. Would I be saying this if my husband were here?
3. Would I even be thinking about this person if I were married?

I think at some stage in our lives, we try to fill our hearts with something or someone that in actual fact, only God can fill. God will not allow anything to fill that void we feel in our lives with anything but Him.

God blesses those who desire purity and holiness. I think if we strive toward emotional purity, one day we will reap the rewards. Its not too late!